breakfast: 1 piece whole wheat toast, 1 egg with a little cheese on top, 3 (yes three) pieces of dessert, oh, and 1 piece of left over pizza from last night (tough start, dang-it)
lunch: gigantic taco salad. Tons of lettuce, tomato, onion, olive, cilantro...with a little bit of taco meat, some taco sauce...and probably a bit more sour cream than necessary, diet Pepsi. About 10 tiny slivers of dessert. I'd feel bad about this big lunch if it wasn't 95% veggies.
dinner: chicken enchilada, little bits and pieces of the kids' pizza they didn't eat, dessert.
snack: dessert. dessert. dessert. dessert (dang you Betty Crocker) dessert. and more buttered popcorn than I ever imagined I could eat.
Exercise: None
Some notes:
I'm so glad the regular Coke is GONE. When it's there, I drink it. When it's not, I'm perfectly happy with a diet pop or water.
Buy low fat or fat free sour cream from now on.
Only make desserts occasionally. We can still enjoy a little something sweet after a meal...fruit, jello, popsicle, etc. It doesn't' always have to be chocolate (gasp! sniff! muffled sobs!)
I am weak. Very, very, very weak. When I want to eat something yummy I consider the calorie ramifications for all of 2 seconds, and then I eat till my heart's content. No one is going to be "calling me skinny" any time soon.
Posts
1 comment:
Oh, Daiquiri, this I’m concerned about. Please consider that the trainer who called you a ‘skinny fat person’ is financially rewarded by your insecurity. He needs you to think that you need him. In fact, he’s an expert in creating relationships in which people depend on him to feel good about their bodies. An alternate opinion (mine) is that you’re perfectly beautiful, and have been perfectly beautiful, and in fact more beautiful because the history of seven years of baby-making on your body is a sign of status and great privilege. You can’t erase it anyway. It happened. And I wish you would celebrate it.
Also, and I do know this is below the belt, please consider how this battle to suppress your impulses looks to your daughters. Your body is yours to do whatever you want with, but they will learn this from you, as other American women have learned this from their mothers. This is why the diet culture is ubiquitous, and it is so devastating for so many young women.
I know I sound like an activist, and I am. I lost several good years of my life to bulimia, as did two of my sisters, and I almost lost Nick over it. And, strangely, or not so strangely, I’m two pants sizes smaller than I was before I stopped keeping a journal not so unlike this one and undertook to forgive my body and embrace my hunger. You write so eloquently about trusting your Maker in another context. Why not this one?
Post a Comment