Q&A - Some 'Call Her Skinny' Concerns

I recently had a very concerned comment from someone who I know cares about me and has my best interests at heart. She also happens to be someone who I respect deeply...she's super smart and compassionate...just an all around wonderful person. Since you all can see the comment she left, I thought I'd respond publicly too. She brought up some great points and some valid concerns. I think that these are issues that everyone who is seeking to make changes to their body needs to consider - especially if there are little eyes watching.

I've written this post in a Q&A format for simplicity. I tried to address her concerns, but did not necessarily use the exact words she used (so don't feel the need to jump to my defense if you think the questions seem harsh...the questions are written my me). So here goes...

"Call Her Skinny"?? What's so great about being skinny?
Okay, maybe a poor choice of a title. I hope I've clarified through my posts that I'm not really after "skinny", but after healthy.

You're keeping track of every morsel of food you eat...maybe a little obsessive??
I can see how keeping track of the foods I eat would be alarming to some. Please rest assured that I'm not going to track my food forever. I just like to do it from time to time so I can do a reality check. I was truly shocked to see how nutritionally weak my diet had become, especially since I'm providing the bulk of my baby's nutrition!

What sort of example are you setting for your kids with all this documenting food and exercise??
Talk about teaching my kids a bad lesson. Hungry? Eat junk. Bored? Eat junk. Sad? Eat junk. Tired? Eat junk. Our mantra around here is "Healthy and Strong"...they won't grow healthy or strong if they eat like I've been eating lately, nor if they have as little physical activity in their lives as I've had lately.

Believe me...I'm still eating plenty of chocolate, and thoroughly enjoy eating cookie dough and ice cream and all sorts of other treats with my kiddos:) I'm just trying to make sure I'm getting some actual nutrients as well. So far, it's translated into more veggies for all of us, fewer processed foods for all of us...but still dessert after almost every single meal :) It's also translated into family walks and bike rides...good stuff for so many reasons.

Are you becoming a slave to the scale? Another terrible example to set!
I sure don't mean to give the impression that I'm a slave to the scale. In fact, I rarely weigh myself, and when I do, it's in the privacy of our bathroom with no audience.

Every now and then we'll weigh the kids to make sure we're dosing medicines right, or to see what size car seat they should be in. And when they step on the scale they *always* hear "44 pounds...just right for a healthy and strong Clara!" or "32 pounds...just right for a healthy and strong Samantha!" or "48 pounds...just right for a healthy and strong Benjamin!" They inevitably want me to go next, so I'll step on and say "155 pounds...just right for a healthy and strong Mommy!" I don't mean to go on and on, but I want you to be assured that a healthy body image is something I'm trying really hard to teach my kids.

(And it wasn't below the belt...it's a fair concern. You love my kids, I sure won't fault you for that! :)

Just embrace your body for the way it is! Why try to erase all the beautiful signs of pregnancy and motherhood?
As for this baby making machine...I mean body...of mine :) I truly am quite happy the way I am. I remember how I felt after delivering my little Benjamin into the world. I was so in awe of this incredible body! I said to Luke, "right now, I wouldn't care if I was 500 pounds....just look what my body did!" I still feel that way to some extent.

So why AM I going through all this trouble? My dad had a quadruple bypass when he was only 41 years old. My grandma has diabetes. Cancer, depression, bad backs...all over the place! I don't want to live like that!

When I'm taking good care of myself, I sleep better, I work better, and I play better. I don't have as many aches and pains. I have more energy and a better outlook on life. I feel like I'm being responsible with this gift that God has given me. In short, I LIVE better.

I trust that when it's my time to go, I'm gonna go. That timing is completely in God's hands, and I'm just fine with that. I trust Him :) But in the mean time, I want to live this life to the fullest. I want to be healthy...Healthy and Strong.

An Excellent Book

I'm reading The Abs Diet right now, and am learning so much! I highly recommend the book. I actually got the one specifically for women, which I really like (neon green cover). The success stories he highlights are all women, and there is stuff in there specific to women (like getting back in shape after pregnancy).

One of the statistics I read about this morning was this: we should be aiming for a waist size of less than 31.5 inches, and the average waist size is more like 35 inches. Remember my "before" numbers? I have some work to do.

So, why shoot for 31.5 inches or less? It's not about vanity, it's about statistics. As a persons waist size creeps above 31.5 inches (or, in my case, LEAPS above 31.5 inches), so does their risk for various health issues...heart disease, back pain, stroke, diabetes, sexual dysfunction, sleep apnea...even carpal tunnel syndrome!

I'm feeling motivated again. I find that if it's all about looking good in a bathing suit, I'm not very motivated. But living a long, healthy, energized life? That motivates me.

I Already Feel Like Quitting...

What what I thinking, starting a blog like this??!!??

It's so much easier to not pay attention to what I'm eating and blame my flab on "baby weight". Now that I'm paying attention though, it's obvious...I have to take full responsibility. I'm a grown up. Don't ask me when it happened, but it did. Somewhere along the line I became 100% responsible for me. Crap.

And can I just whine for a minute. (Think really annoying squeaky whiny voice going on here)

But I love food. I want to eat because I love to eat. I love the taste of food. I love that satisfied feeling after a really great meal. And I love chocolate. I love it, I love it, I love it...and I don't wanna make sacrifices! And I hate to exercise! It hurts and it makes me sweat and it takes a bunch of time I'd rather be spending doing other things. And then I have to do the whole shower and makeup and hair thing, and it just plain pisses me off to have to work so dang hard!

Okay. Whew. I needed to get that out. Thanks for indulging me.

Today's Food

I open a new post each morning, and fill it in with what I've eaten as the day goes on. It's 11 AM right now, and I'm already off to a rough start. I have a problem with sweets....just zero self control. Probably shouldn't have made that yummy dessert last night.

breakfast: 1 piece whole wheat toast, 1 egg with a little cheese on top, 3 (yes three) pieces of dessert, oh, and 1 piece of left over pizza from last night (tough start, dang-it)
lunch: gigantic taco salad. Tons of lettuce, tomato, onion, olive, cilantro...with a little bit of taco meat, some taco sauce...and probably a bit more sour cream than necessary, diet Pepsi. About 10 tiny slivers of dessert. I'd feel bad about this big lunch if it wasn't 95% veggies.
dinner: chicken enchilada, little bits and pieces of the kids' pizza they didn't eat, dessert.
snack: dessert. dessert. dessert. dessert (dang you Betty Crocker) dessert. and more buttered popcorn than I ever imagined I could eat.

Exercise: None

Some notes:

I'm so glad the regular Coke is GONE. When it's there, I drink it. When it's not, I'm perfectly happy with a diet pop or water.

Buy low fat or fat free sour cream from now on.

Only make desserts occasionally. We can still enjoy a little something sweet after a meal...fruit, jello, popsicle, etc. It doesn't' always have to be chocolate (gasp! sniff! muffled sobs!)

I am weak. Very, very, very weak. When I want to eat something yummy I consider the calorie ramifications for all of 2 seconds, and then I eat till my heart's content. No one is going to be "calling me skinny" any time soon.

Today's Food

I am determined to do better than yesterday. It can't be too difficult, given the disaster that was yesterday's food!


breakfast: 2 1/2 blueberry bran muffins with Take Control spread
snack: a handful of baby carrots dipped in light ranch dressing
lunch: whole wheat tortilla wrap with grilled chicken, lettuce, tomato, onion - more carrots and ranch - coke
snack: chips and salsa
snack/mini meal: left over salmon and pasta from Macaroni Grill (less than 1/2 of original amount)
snack: one bite of Sammy's chocolate covered "granola bar"
dinner: 2 pieces of pizza, 2 pieces of dessert
snack: handful of popcorn from Sammy's bowl

Exercise: family walk around the neighborhood. Not a lot, but not nothin' either.

Well, I did better today from a nutritional standpoint. I got some veggies at least. Probably still too much food for me though.

My attitude today was, "when hungry...eat...just make healthy choices". I think that's still a pretty good starting point for me, only now I'll work on smaller portions.

A Conversation With A Trainer

Before I became pregnant with my youngest child...let's see, that was about a year and a half ago...I had a conversation with a trainer at my gym. He said some things that really stuck with me, so I thought I'd share.

- First, he said I was a "skinny fat person". I had to laugh...never heard that term before. But it makes perfect sense. To look at me, most people would not call me fat. They'd probably say I'm fairly thin. But the amount of fat I'm carrying around on this relatively thin frame is way out of proportion. It's much too high. A large percentage of my body weight is fat. I'm a skinny fat person!

- Next, he gave me a quick look and said that my posture is messed up. I'll tell ya...if it was messed up then, it's even worse now. I can feel it in my back and neck and shoulders. I'm not quite sure what to do about that. I hope that with more exercise, my body will just naturally go back to a healthier posture. **Proper Form while exercising is going to me critical to get that done** Otherwise, I'll just be training my body to stay in this lousy posture.

- Then he had me give him my brief history. The most important physical aspects of my history is that I've been pregnant or nursing a baby practically non stop for the past 7 years. 7 YEARS! He looked me in the eye and said something I'll never forget, "You're malnourished." What?! How can that be? His thought was that for the past 7 years, my body has been taking the best of everything I put into my body and gives it to a baby either in utero or through milk. My body, in the meantime, has not been getting the nutrients it needs. I'm malnourished! And what does a human body do when it is stressed? It puts on fat because fat is a protective mechanism.

So I'm a skinny, fat, malnourished, slouching woman. Just great. Let's see what I can do about that...

My "Before" Weigh In

Okay, I did all the "before" stuff this morning....measurements, weight, pictures (that was loads of fun).

I feel the need to do a little disclaimer here. I should say that I don't think I'm "fat". I'm not obese or fat...I'm heavier than I think is ideal for me...but more importantly, I'm not fit. I'm not healthy. My cholesterol is almost 300, and I have serious heart issues in my family.

My goal is to get healthy. And knowing my body, getting healthy will also mean weight loss and fat loss. So that's why I'm keeping track of this stuff.

Enough of that already. Here are my beginning stats:

weight: 153 pounds
chest: 37"
waist: 35"
hips: 41"
thigh: 22.5"
arm: 11.25"

I also took some before pictures of me in a bikini...good Lord, why did you ever allow the bikini to be created?? Not fun. And no, I'm not showing you the pictures. At least not right now. I have some serious courage to work up if I'm going to show you pictures.

Food Today

Part of what I think I need to do is keep better track of the foods I'm eating. Doesn't it always seem to start there? If you want to build a financial plan, the experts tell you to keep track of every penny you spend for a couple of weeks. If you want to lose weight, they tell you to keep track of foods eaten. I guess it makes sense...get some baseline data, if you will. So here's what I ate today (to the best of my memory):

breakfast: 1 piece whole wheat toast, 1 egg w/cheese on top, ketchup
lunch: Big Mac and 1 can of Coke (drat)
snack: chocolate chip oatmeal cookie dough...probably 3 cookies worth
snack: one bite of Sammy's chocolate covered "granola" bar
dinner: 2 chicken enchiladas, corn, jello
snack: DQ hot fudge sundae with extra fudge
snack: chocolate chip oatmeal cookie
snack: handful of potato chips
snack: 1 piece Dove dark chocolate

exercise: NOTHING

Pardon my language...but, holy crap! Would you say I have a bit of a chocolate problem? No fruits, and my veggies consist of ketchup and corn...not exactly rock stars in the veggie world.

I actually heard once (not sure if it's true)...but I heard that the US is the only industrialized nation in the world where the people eat corn. All others only feed it to their animals to...you guessed it...FATTEN THEM UP because it's really nothing but sugar. It's practically void of any nutrition. And ketchup? The main ingredient in mine is high fructose corn syrup, not tomatoes.

Wow. When I write it out, I feel a little sick to my stomach. I ate like garbage today! If my kids ate like this, I'd scold them big time. Maybe I should just start eating whatever I feed them.

And what bothers me the most? I'm nursing a baby right now. Just LOOK at what I fed him today. Ugh. Sorry Thomas. I'll try to do better tomorrow.

'Cause I Gotta Start Somewhere

I've never had to watch my weight. I guess age and having 4 babies in the past 6 years is finally catching up with me. (Sigh)

But now? Now I believe I'm pretty much done losing the "baby weight". I put baby weight in quotes because I'm not sure it should be called that. I'm pretty sure it should be called "I-love-Big-Macs- chocolate-popcorn-guacamole" weight. Or maybe "I-love-to-sit-on-my-expanding-butt-and-I-hate-exercise" weight. (Another big sigh)

So here I am starting a blog to keep track of my fitness goals. My hope is that by reporting in here, and knowing that someone might be "watching"...that I'll feel a bit more accountability and actually get something done about these last 15 pounds of flab I have. And although I love to visit my stat counter site to see who's come to visit, I'm not going to put one on this site. I'm just going to pretend that lots and lots of people are coming to see this place every day. Maybe it'll keep me motivated.

I'll weigh and measure and take a "before" picture tomorrow. Although...no promises on if I'll post the picture ;)