Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Reality Sorta Sucks

We just returned home from vacation, during which a photo was taken of me.  When I saw it, I gasped.

In that moment, I realized that I have been positively delusional when looking in the mirror for probably...oh...the past 9 months or so.  There are several chins showing in the mirror that I simply haven't been seeing.

I've been seeing the 20-something year old me.

It's sort of like a time after my second child was born, and my husband took a picture of us together.  When we got the pictures back (good old film days, I do not miss you one bit), I said something like "their process is all messed up!  Just look at this awful color!"  

"What do you mean?" Replied my husband.

"Look!  My hair!  It's brown!"

"Yes.  Yes it is.  In real life, Daiquiri.  Your hair is brown."


I ran to the mirror, and it was as if a veil had been removed from my eyes.  Sure enough, my hair had turned brown.  I was a toe-head my entire childhood.  Bright blue eyes and white-blonde hair.  That was me.  As a teenager, I was more of a golden blonde.  But age and pregnancy hormones had changed my hair to a mousy brown color.  I stood in front of the mirror for a long while thinking, "Hello brown-haired woman.  Who the heck ARE you?"

But the photo taken of me last week wasn't as simple to fix as a few well-placed highlights my by my very talented hair guru, Suzy.

Unless Suzy does chin lifts, tummy tucks, and liposuction on the side...she can't help me one bit.

I'm over weight.

Not FAT, I guess.  But most definitely over weight.  According to my history and the current number on the scale, I'm approximately 20 pounds heavier than I should be.  Maybe 25.  

How did this happen?  

So...reality has sunk in, at least in this area of my life.  I wonder, how else am I deluded?

Where to start?  I've never had a weight problem in my life.  I've never had to work at losing weight.  I've certainly never had to diet.  Blech.

But now that I see reality when I look in the mirror, I have to do something.  I can't look at myself and tell myself "I'm perfectly healthy" anymore.  

So...I've given up my daily Coke for lunch.  That's 140 calories a day.  And I'm going to get moving for at least 20-30 minutes each day.  It probably won't make me lose 20 pounds, but it's a place to start and more importantly, they are changes I can live with.  

My dear Reality...you suck.

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